Put Some Love In It

by Katie Garman

There is a now infamous story in my family about a trip Jim and I took to New York City several years ago. In the cab ride to Laguardia Airport, after a wonderful weekend visiting friends in the City, the woman driving our cab shared some of her fondness for the South when she learned that we were traveling back home to North Carolina. She told us in her best NY accent that one of the things she loves about the South is the food. She recounted a story about a gathering she had shared with some of her people, friends and family, in NC, and she said, “Do you know why that food is so good? I’ll tell you why that food is so good. ‘Cause they put some love in that food. They put some love in every bite of that food.” For the rest of the cab ride, we shared stories about the joys of friendship and fellowship over good food. Jim and I have talked and laughed a lot about that cab ride over the years, particularly because it echoed true for us in why we have come to love living here in Durham.  

For the past year or so, my own family has had the opportunity to volunteer to help serve dinners during the Interfaith Hospitality Network (IHN) weeks at Duke Memorial. Through these experiences, sharing food with our neighbors in IHN, I have learned something about food, the way we share it, and the love we put in it.

It is well-known in our family that I am a “feeder”: I enjoy preparing food for others, sharing food with others, and encouraging others to eat together. At IHN nights, sometimes my own family is rushed, having gathered together at Duke Memorial after our separate days at school, day-care and work. The food we provide is not always completely home-made, but it definitely has some love in it.

As I sit with the women, also mothers, who are participating in IHN, I am often struck by how much we have in common. We sit as we eat, managing our small children, with their inherent tendency to squirm. We share the common bond of having small mouths to feed. We look over our children as they eat their meals, sometimes picking at their food, sometimes relishing each bite with gusto. After they have eaten, we watch our children as they play together, as children do, joining together in games of hide-and-seek in Whitford Hall, or coloring with crayons and decorating bits of paper with stickers, or creating and flying paper airplanes that soar up into the air above our heads.

Sometimes the other moms and I talk freely, and sometimes we sit quietly together. What I have gleaned from these evenings is that many of our hopes and dreams are shared.  We want our children to have healthy meals to eat. We rejoice when our children have opportunities for education, or a spot secured at a safe day-care center. We seek safe and nurturing environments for our kids so that they may grow and flourish. We want our own days to show that we are growing as individuals, and we share the hope that each day will be a little bit better than the day that came before.

As echoed in our first Dinner and Discussion, most of what happens at IHN nights is simply being present together. I alone cannot lift the burdens that these women carry. And yet during our shared meals, I am often reminded that through Christian love, there is some assurance that we can find, build, and strengthen our community together in order to provide an environment in which we and our children can thrive.

Katie Garman

Feb 2012

Highlights from the Dinner and Discussion Series Kickoff

On Monday we kicked off our Dinner and Discussion series with a panel on “Platitudes vs. Presence: Learning to Be With.” Ann Smith, Kate Bowler, and Dan Rhodes were our panelists. Here were a few highlights from the conversation:

“We have a lot of visions of what Christian hope should look like, and most of them sound like guarantees...these can crystallize into platitudes when they are abstracted from the overlying story of the Gospel.” - Kate Bowler

“We live between competing truths...the sense that God loves us and God is for us, and yet also that the world is not as it should be.” - Kate Bowler

“Hope, fundamentally, is a virtue, and as a virtue it means that hope is not something you can give...despite all our best our best efforts of going to the soup kitchen, of all these types of things where we think we’re going to give people hope, hope doesn’t work as a commodity...hope, as a virtue is something that has to be shared...hope is a virtue that emerges in community, that emerges in relationship.” - Dan Rhodes

“Real hope...strips us of that sense that we really don’t need each other.” - Dan Rhodes

“People need to be listened to...listening is following the thoughts and feelings of another person and understanding what the other person is saying and meaning from their  point of view. So we really have to put ourselves aside, don’t we?” - Ann Smith

“When we’re going out to get to know our neighbors, I think there are three things that are important: The first thing is to pray before you go...the next one is to be really committed to listening and focusing on the other person...the third thing is to accept the person where they are.” - Ann Smith

Click here to watch a video of the panel and discussion.

We will continue to have these Dinner and Discussions throughout the year. The theme for the next one, on March 27, will be hunger alleviation, food distribution, and nutritional health. We will learn about the food situation in Durham - who gets it and who doesn't, what kind of organizations are providing food, and and how our church can know our role in seeking a just distribution of food in our city.

-Reynolds

Listening, Learning, and Living with Mayor Bill Bell

(A reflection for the Church on the Mayor’s State of the City address)

On Monday night, Mayor Bill Bell gave his annual State of the City address. He highlighted four areas that the city wants to focus on over the next year:

1. Reducing Violent Crime - The highlight of this portion of the mayor’s speech was recognizing a young man named Dante, who had voluntarily turned in guns to the police headquarters. Dante said he’s trying to find a way out of the street life. Mayor Bell said “We as a community have got to find ways to embrace the Dante’s of our city and be supportive as they try to change their lives.” The mayor also said he hopes to “include members of the faith-based community in this violent crime reduction effort.”

2. Continued Neighborhood Revitalization - Mayor Bell emphasized the importance of revitalizing whole communities. He noted a couple of the city’s projects and partnerships in this area, and stressed that “neighborhood revitalization is not just housing, but involves whole quality of life issues, such as jobs, safety, transportation, access to health facilities, recreation and appearance.”

3. Affordable Housing - The City wants to do this through a dedicated revenue stream, a deepened partnership with Durham Housing Authority, and finding the best ways to provide services for the city’s homeless population.

4. Sustainable Job Development and Creation - Mayor Bell said the goal of the City is to be a catalyst for the private sector to create jobs and to prepare people for work-readiness. He noted that our community is challenged by the fact that the unemployment rate among African Americans in the US is over 20%. Similarly, the unemployment rate among people with less than a high-school diploma was 20%.

Why is this important?

As the Church in Durham, we want to know the City’s stated priorities for a few reasons. First, it shows us what is happening at high levels of leadership and political power. It helps us see where the city’s money and attention are directed. Second, it gives us a unique window into where some of the resources and the needs are in the city. Third, it helps us to know how we might either speak out against something we see as wrong, or how we might partner with other entities in Durham.

How do we interpret and respond to it?

There are four appropriate ways the Church might respond to the Mayor’s address in Durham (and any city agenda, really): affirm, work together, critique, witness. When we see that the City’s priorities are in line with the Kingdom of God, it’s important that we affirm these. Broadly speaking, the four priorities that Mayor Bell stated are actually four areas of focus that we at Duke Memorial have designated with our mission theme. Our small group curriculum, Living Without Enemies, and our involvement with the Religious Coalition for Nonviolent Durham are intended to be a witness amidst the violence in our city. Our “Good Neighbor Team” is looking to begin the initial stages of neighborhood revitalization in the surrounding community. And two of our Dinner and Discussions will match the City's focus areas of affordable housing and jobs, respectively. So we can affirm the City in making these things a priority, because we believe that when we see “thy Kingdom come” in our city, we will see peace, flourishing neighborhoods, people with shelter, and people with economic stability and dignifying work. As I stated in my last post, God’s Kingdom is where “nothing is missing, nothing is broken.”

The corollary of affirming is working together. If the priorities of the City align with those of the Church, it makes sense to partner if the means of achieving the goals does not compromise our witness and identity. As mayor Bell said about reducing violence, he wants the faith community to be involved. This invitation is a gift! We the Church can make ourselves available to help the city with their good efforts (we can embrace the Dante's of our city), and we can be a witness to a better way when necessary.

It’s also the job of the Church to critique the city when they make misguided commitments, don’t follow through with their commitments, or if we feel that the “how” of reaching their goals is harmful. For example, although the city is making a commitment to neighborhood revitalization, some of their focus communities are halfway finished. We have the power to encourage the city to put the necessary resources into finishing the jobs they started. In other cases, we have the position to tell the City to make priorities out of things that might be overlooked.

The corollary of critiquing is bearing witness. When we see see inconsistencies or gaps in the way the City is operating, we can provide an alternative way. If we see neighborhoods that are still in need of revitalization, we bear witness to Christ by seeking their renewal with our own priorities and resources. One way we are bearing witness is by building a home for a family through Habitat for Humanity. Another way is setting the groundwork for getting to know our neighbors’ resources and needs through our “Good Neighbor Team." Our work is incomplete if we merely critique that which we think is wrong. But if we live by an alternative reality, we show a better way, the way of God's Kingdom.

This is our city, and the decisions of the city’s leadership affect us and our neighbors. We pray that our God will guide their decisions, and that they will regard and provide for the most vulnerable among us.

Go to the People

A couple weekends ago I went to a one-day intensive in Raleigh put on by the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA). CCDA is a network of people, churches, and ministries from around the country who are seeking to embody the Gospel of Jesus in under-resourced communities. It was inspiring to see so many other Christians and churches in the Triangle who wanted to deepen their missional engagement with their communities.

I was reminded of this Chinese proverb that is often used to summarize the philosophy of Christian Community Development ministry - ministry that sees Christ’s incarnation at the heart of it. The proverb speaks for itself. I thought it was appropriate for our journey this year.
                                           

-Reynolds

 

Go to the people

Live among them

Learn from them

Love them

Start with what they know

Build on what they have

But of the best leaders

When their task is done

The people will remark

"We have done it ourselves."

[Ancient Chinese Proverb]