Pilgrimage of Pain and Hope

The Pilgrimage of Pain and Hope is a two-day journey of deeply encountering our city. The goal is to learn the story of Durham with particular attention to race and class, and to reflect on it through the lens of our  Christian faith. Through taking this journey, we seek to gain a renewed sense of who we are, of the pain and hope of our city, and of how we might live in light of what we’ve learned.

“We would come as pilgrims, not as tourists; as learners, not as teachers; as receivers, not as givers; as listeners, not as talkers.” - Trevor Hudson, A Mile in My Shoes

Friday, September 14
1:00pm - Tour of Historic Stagville, one of the largest plantations of the pre-Civil War South.
3:15pm - Tour of Duke Homestead, the early home, factories, and farm where Washington Duke first grew and processed tobacco.
5:30pm - Dinner and Reflection time

Saturday, September 15
9:00am - Breakfast and reflection on our own story at Duke Memorial United Methodist Church (504 W. Chapel Hill Street, Durham).
10:30am - Tour of Hayti Heritage Center, an African American cultural and educational institution deeply rooted in the historic Hayti community of Durham. We will spend time with historian Skippy Scarborough.
12:00 - Lunch and Reflection Time
1:00pm - Presentation at the Historic Parrish Street Forum. Also known as “Black Wall Street” in the early 20th century, Parrish Street was the sight of some of the nation’s leading black-owned businesses.
2:30pm - Gathering in West End Neighborhood and meeting with Keith Daniel, a Durham native, Director of the Office of Black Church Studies at Duke Divinity School, and former director of the Duke Pathways Program.
4:00pm - Durham Then, Durham Now - Reflection on the evolving Durham class and racial landscape and contemporary issues facing people of a variety of class and racial backgrounds.
5:30pm - Wrap-Up: Dinner and Final Reflection

*Additional Activity*: John P. Kee Concert, Saturday, 8pm: John P. Kee is a native of Durham and one of the most acclaimed gospel music artists in the country. He will be performing at the Hayti Heritage Center. Tickets are available through Duke Performances.
To sign up to go on the Pilgrimage, fill out the form below. The cost, which covers four meals and transportation, is $25 (does not include John P. Kee concert). If you have any questions, contact Reynolds Chapman at  reynoldschapman@dukememorial.org.

Thanks for Coming Out to the Cookout!

We had a great time on Sunday, eating together and enjoying each other’s company at the Summer Community Cookout! The kids bounced around in a bounce-house castle (which kind of resembled a mini-Duke Memorial if you look at it the right way), and we all played yard games, ate snow cones, and even got our faces painted.  The best part was meeting so many new people and getting to know some of our neighbors better. As part of our 2012 Mission Theme, “Who is My Neighbor? Listening, Learning and Living with Our City,” this was indeed what we were hoping to get out of our first “Celebration” – to welcome new people to our church and share our lives with each other. Thank you to everyone who helped with the setup, break-down, food prep, and showing generous hospitality to our guests!

Duke Memorial Considering Closer Ties with IHN

     It was good to learn more at our Dinner and Discussion this week about the needs of homeless families in Durham.  We want to inform you of an exciting proposition that is being considered at Duke Memorial that could directly impact this issue.  Recently, the Director of Interfaith Hospitality Network (IHN) approached our staff about unused church space that could be utilized for the program’s day center.  The IHN program collaborates with many area congregations to serve homeless families.  Families stay in a church in the evenings and overnight, with church members serving as volunteer hosts.  During the day, some adults work and children who are old enough go to school or daycare.  But there is always a day space available for family members who are out of work or have not yet been accepted to a school or daycare.  The day space is where activities of daily living occur, including meal preparation, baths and showers are had, and laundry is done.  The day center is also where IHN staff work most closely with families to look for employment, affordable housing or child care arrangements.

      Duke Memorial, as many of you know, has been in relationship with IHN as a host church since the program’s inception about fifteen years ago.  IHN is looking to expand the number of families it can serve from its current capacity of three to six families, but in order to do so, a new day center location is needed.  Preliminary discussions have begun about the potential to use currently under-utilized space on the first level of the Sanctuary building for this day center and the IHN staff office location. To accommodate this arrangement, some renovation of the area would be necessary.  Many questions remain to be answered before a decision can be made about this proposal.  Our church staff have indicated that it is imperative that we consider the impact of this arrangement on the entire body of the church.  Is this relationship consistent with our mission, vision and strategic plan?  How would renovations be funded and what would the ongoing financial impact of a long term lease arrangement be for the church?  How would the presence of IHN impact current activities and programs of the church, including the weekday school, AA meetings and youth activities?  These and many other detailed issues are being analyzed by some of our congregational leaders in collaboration with our church staff.

     We believe this relationship has significant potential to help our church grow in our outreach ministry and can enable an opportunity to have a direct impact on the important issue of homelessness.  But a proposal will not be advanced to our Church Council nor any agreement reached until the important questions noted above have been addressed.  We welcome your feedback as we explore this arrangement.  If you have ideas, concerns or questions, please address them to our church staff, especially Ginger and Reynolds.  A task force has been formed to discern this matter, made up of Fuller Sasser, Roger Loyd, Tom Chandler, Eric Miller, Leta Loyd, Katie Garman and John Legge. The members are interested in hearing from you.  We will keep you updated on this issue in the weeks to come.  

- John Legge and Katie Garman         

Further Reflections on the Mission Theme

by John Legge

 

     I appreciate Katie’s reflections on the year so far.  It has been heartening to journey with our Mission Committee, church staff, and most importantly, so many from our congregation who have engaged in deepening our understanding of the relationships Christ calls us to.  In addition to the listening and reflecting that Katie highlighted, we have continued to serve in so many ways.

·         Participation in Community MLK event

·         Expanding relationships with Henderson Towers residents

·         Building a Habitat house

·         Hosting homeless families through Interfaith Hospitality Network

·         Raising $4500 during the Durham CROP Walk

·         Food donations and volunteering at Urban Ministries

·         Support for summer youth mission activities  

     I look forward to listening, learning and growing with our congregation and within our community.  I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a part of something that feels so important.  Thanks to all of you who’ve helped nurture this environment where Christ’s messages of love and giving are coming to life.

 -John Legge

Who is My Neighbor? The Year Thus Far....

by Katie Garman

The Listening theme began in January with the goal to discern more about our remarkable neighbors in Durham by taking time to hear about the hopes, dreams, pain, and joy in our community. 

We’ve hosted several Dinner and Discussions this year. If you missed these, scroll through this blog to find video links and commentary. 

At our first Dinner and Discussion, we heard generally about what it means to actively listen, and our own Stephen Ministers and members shared how often people just need someone to be present with them. Listening doesn’t mean fixing all of someone’s problems, but it can mean joining in a journey together that brings healing. 

At the second Dinner, we listened to news from Urban Ministries about folks in our community who are hungry, and how we can help address hunger in Durham. We heard stories about the people who are turned away at night when there are not enough beds for all in need. 

At the next Dinner and Discussion, we listened to Sam Wells and Marcia Owen talk about being present in Durham for those who have suffered due to violence in our own community, and the power of listening to our neighbors, and being present with them when loved ones have been killed. 

Our Good Neighbor team has listened to neighbors in Durham close to Duke Memorial: Neighbors at Henderson Towers and in the West End Neighborhood. Around Easter-time, Reynolds shared a story about inviting a family in the West End Neighborhood to our Easter service. We heard hope in the way the invitation was received and we heard gladness from those neighbors that our church would welcome them inside our doors. My sense is that we have more to learn from these neighbors in our surrounding areas.

So far this year, I would say that our listening has taught us about the power of being present. Neighbors in our larger community, as well as members of our own congregation, both long for connection with other people and time for fellowship together. 

I hope you will look into your own heart and join us in listening this year. We would love to hear your ideas about ways to respond to what we are learning about our neighbors, and we hope we’ll have a wonderful turnout at the next Dinner and Discussion on June 4^th 6-8 PM when we listen with open hearts to news about Housing and Homelessness in Durham. You can RSVP here. Thank you for all the ways you continue to join the mission here at Duke Memorial. 

-Katie Garman

Dinner with Sam Wells and Marcia Owen

This spring our small groups read Living Without Enemies: Being Present in the Midst of Violence by Sam Wells and Marcia Owen. This book accompanied our mission theme of "Who is My Neighbor? Listening, Learning and Living with Our City" because it casts a vision for mission that prioritizes Christ-like presence, humility, and listening. At the end of our small group season, we were able to have Sam and Marcia join us for a dinner and discussion to share about their book and their stories. Below is a video of the event and some highlights.

Here are a few quotes from Sam:

The working for model: "You become extremely good at doing something, and you spend the rest of your life doing good for people.That's the way mission in the mainline church in America is generally done...the problem is that it's a flawed model. If you're on the receiving end, the working for model reinforces your humiliation."

The working with model: "Ideally the homeless person comes for the first time to Urban Ministries looking for a meal, but before long they find themselves behind the counter helping to cook the meal, and then they're empowered to actually design the menu, and then after five years or so, somebody's worked their way up through that process and they end up running Urban Ministries."

Being with: "Being with also involves spending time with others like working with, but it's not leading with your skills....And you don't come assuming that you're going to be the agent of change...in fact you don't approach the person assuming they basically need to change....You come because you enjoy, simply, being with them."

Being for: "The emblem of being for is the blogger. The blogger is the person who knows everything, tells everyone they use the wrong vocabulary about this, tells everybody that the last movie they went to see was incredibly wrong because they saw it from the wrong point of view, has absolutely the right attitude about every form of social disadvantage, never engages with anyone who is actually experiencing social disadvantage themselves, just tells everyone else that they're wrong."

"When I read the New Testament, it said, 'If you want to find Jesus, go to be with the poor...' It never occurred to me that I was spending time with the poor to solve their problems. I was spending time with the poor to solve my problems."

And some quotes from Marcia:

 "I started gathering with a group of clergy...to try to figure out, to discern - probably what you all are doing - what is God calling us to do in response to this suffering?"

"Something very, very profound shifted when I would sit in the living room with mothers and brothers and sisters and cousins and fathers and uncles. And there was nothing I could do except share my faith. And that faith is just a humble, "I am here to let you know that your son or your daughter who was so violently and tragically taken from us is my sister and my brother too."

"No matter what happens to me, no matter what insane silliness, or mistakes I make, always God is present in my life. There seems to be nothing I can do to stop that."

"Violence...is the most extreme manifestation of our forgetting who we are as children and creations of God."

"One of the most astounding features of love is that it's immeasurable. So why would you start measuring?"

Mission in the Easter Season

I'm attaching the video of Roger's sermon from Easter Sunday. If you weren't in worship, watch it! If you were there, it is a great sermon to watch again and meditate on throughout the Easter season. I think that the message gets at the heart of what Easter means for our participation on God's mission. 

A few questions to reflect on in response: 

• Roger says, "Maybe we have turned faith into an escape. But not Jesus." In what ways have you turned faith into an escape? How might our faith in Jesus lead us to be more present in the midst of suffering?
• Roger quotes Dietrich Bonhoeffer: "One who believes does not run." This was Bonhoeffer's reasoning for staying in Germany during the height of the Nazi rule, which eventually led to his death. When we refuse to "run," how does that show our belief in Jesus?
• Roger shares that what we call the "real world" is not the way things are supposed to be. Jesus has shown us the way things are supposed to be (i.e., the real real world) by entering into brokenness and death, and trusting God to raise him. In what ways can we be "agents of the real world" in Durham?

Food In Durham: Dinner and Discussion Reflection

By John Legge

What a special opportunity we had Tuesday night to have Lee Nelson from Urban Ministries as our guest for dinner and discussion.  I thought it might be a downer, talking about poverty and hunger.  Instead, I came away feeling pretty snappy.  It was a pleasure to listen to Lee (I think the guy’s a hero and a rock star!), learn from his experience, and share thoughts about an issue that concerns many of us.  Perhaps some of the following made it such a positive experience:

·        I loved Lee’s stories.  They were full of humility, compassion and meaning.

·        Sid Allen and friends made it easy for the rest of us to enjoy.

·        Lee gave our congregation props for our enduring commitment to Urban Ministries through food donations, volunteering in the food pantry, and the meals served by our youth in the Community Café.

·        There was a good group of folks…diverse group.  Fuller (the young one) asked some of the best questions of the night. 

·        Hunger is a big problem, but there are a lot of ways we can make a difference toward sustaining and comforting people who are having a difficult time.

·        Everyone was really engaged with Lee and in their table discussions.  They also seemed to appreciate the chance to eat, visit and just spend time together.

·        Jenny’s dinner was wonderful.

·        Sometimes when I consider an issue alone I feel helpless, but when approached with others, it becomes empowering and encouraging.

     I’m grateful that so many folks showed up and shared their interest, concern and faith beliefs surrounding the issue of hunger in our community.  Many of these same folks will participate in the Crop Walk this weekend.  I look forward to continuing to synthesize our collective concern, energy and resources toward understanding our community and finding ways to be a meaningful part of it. 

- John Legge

See the video of the Dinner and Discussion below!

What's Happening with the Good Neighbor Team?

The Good Neighbor Team is the group of people who are leading Duke Memorial in building relationships with people around the church. Whereas the Dinner and Discussions focus on issues in Durham, the Good Neighbor Team focuses on people and places.

When our church asks the question, “Who is my neighbor?” the answers are almost limitless. We all have neighbors in our own neighborhoods, at work, where we eat and play, at school, or at the schools our kids go to. But does Duke Memorial have neighbors as a community? One way that we share common neighbors is by our church’s geographic location. Although members of the church come from all around Durham, we share this common space for worship, prayer, meals, small groups, meetings, and office space.

So as we begin to get to know our neighbors, the area surrounding the church is a great place to start. By doing this, we bear witness to Christ by loving our neighbors as a community.

This narrows the scope of our vision to get to know our neighbors just a bit. But as a downtown church, there are still many places to choose from. So we focused it a little more.

We looked at a map that shows everything within a .5 mile radius of our church. We identified two places to begin with: The Henderson Towers and the West End Neighborhood. Why did we choose these places? The first reason, as I already stated, is their proximity.

The second reason is that these are residential places. While we hope to build relationships in the near future with the businesses, agencies, and schools surrounding us, we know that the home is the most foundational place to a person’s life - it determines what they see at the beginning and the end of the day, where the family gathers, where the children go to school, just to name a few things.

The third reason is that we already have relationships established with these places. In the 1990’s we helped to build and provide volunteers for the West End Community Center. We’ve also built Habitat Houses in the West End. We have held events at the Henderson Towers, and they have asked us for assistance with their programming.

The final reason for choosing these two places is that they have historically been considered under-resourced. The Henderson Towers is a low-rent public housing facility for people who are elderly and disabled. The West End is a small neighborhood with Chapel Hill St., Anderson St., Arnette Ave., and Morehead Ave. as its boundaries.

What's the first step in building relationships with these places? Seeing. Oftentimes places that are named “under-resourced” are viewed first through the lens of their needs. This starting point overlooks the dignity and capacity of people and assets in the places. Instead, we start with the worth and gifts of the people, and the resources.

This is where we are right now. We’re beginning to make contacts with the leaders in the neighborhoods and getting to know all the assets - from businesses to programs to parks - that are in the West End and at the Henderson Towers. This is a journey that we hope will continue for many years ahead. And it’s a journey that the whole church can be a part of. If you're wondering where you can begin, you can start by seeing these places and the people there as your neighbors. Stay tuned for more ways to get involved!

- Reynolds

A Visual Map of Our Mission

The view from the ground

The big picture

Mapping our Mission: The Big Picture

I love maps, whether I’m lost or not. Why? Because I can see where I am, my destination, and everything else around me. Now that we’re 2 months into the 2012 Mission Theme, “Who is My Neighbor? Listening Learning and Living with Our City,” I thought it might be helpful to give the big picture – the map – of what’s happening.
Our Destination: We want to know our neighbors. More specifically, we want to know the people, the places, the resources, the needs, the pains and the hopes of Durham. As Jesus showed us in his incarnation, knowing is the first step toward loving.
Where We Are: This month we are focusing on hunger alleviation, food distribution, and nutritional health. On Tuesday, March 27, from 6-8pm we will have our second Dinner and Discussion on this topic. Our Food/Hunger Team and Event Planning Team are working on the planning and logistics, while the Research Team is gathering information about resources and needs regarding hunger and food in Durham. On April 1^st our church will participate in the CROP Walk, where we’ll raise money for, and walk in solidarity with, people who are hungry in Durham and throughout the world. Future Dinner and Discussions will focus on Aging, Housing/Homelessness, Youth, Employment and Financial Stability, and Health Care.
What’s Around Us: The Good Neighbor Team will meet on Sunday, March 11 after the service in the Soul Café to develop a plan for building relationships with people in the nearby neighborhoods. Whereas the Dinner and Discussions focus on knowing the resources and needs in Durham, the Good Neighbor Team focuses on people and places. Our relationship with Henderson Towers is deepening, as we’re helping them with their community fair and starting a quilting group in collaboration with residents there. Other things that are happening right now: the Habitat house construction has begun, our small groups are reading Living Without Enemies, and many are praying that God would guide us in all our mission this year. 

-Reynolds

Put Some Love In It

by Katie Garman

There is a now infamous story in my family about a trip Jim and I took to New York City several years ago. In the cab ride to Laguardia Airport, after a wonderful weekend visiting friends in the City, the woman driving our cab shared some of her fondness for the South when she learned that we were traveling back home to North Carolina. She told us in her best NY accent that one of the things she loves about the South is the food. She recounted a story about a gathering she had shared with some of her people, friends and family, in NC, and she said, “Do you know why that food is so good? I’ll tell you why that food is so good. ‘Cause they put some love in that food. They put some love in every bite of that food.” For the rest of the cab ride, we shared stories about the joys of friendship and fellowship over good food. Jim and I have talked and laughed a lot about that cab ride over the years, particularly because it echoed true for us in why we have come to love living here in Durham.  

For the past year or so, my own family has had the opportunity to volunteer to help serve dinners during the Interfaith Hospitality Network (IHN) weeks at Duke Memorial. Through these experiences, sharing food with our neighbors in IHN, I have learned something about food, the way we share it, and the love we put in it.

It is well-known in our family that I am a “feeder”: I enjoy preparing food for others, sharing food with others, and encouraging others to eat together. At IHN nights, sometimes my own family is rushed, having gathered together at Duke Memorial after our separate days at school, day-care and work. The food we provide is not always completely home-made, but it definitely has some love in it.

As I sit with the women, also mothers, who are participating in IHN, I am often struck by how much we have in common. We sit as we eat, managing our small children, with their inherent tendency to squirm. We share the common bond of having small mouths to feed. We look over our children as they eat their meals, sometimes picking at their food, sometimes relishing each bite with gusto. After they have eaten, we watch our children as they play together, as children do, joining together in games of hide-and-seek in Whitford Hall, or coloring with crayons and decorating bits of paper with stickers, or creating and flying paper airplanes that soar up into the air above our heads.

Sometimes the other moms and I talk freely, and sometimes we sit quietly together. What I have gleaned from these evenings is that many of our hopes and dreams are shared.  We want our children to have healthy meals to eat. We rejoice when our children have opportunities for education, or a spot secured at a safe day-care center. We seek safe and nurturing environments for our kids so that they may grow and flourish. We want our own days to show that we are growing as individuals, and we share the hope that each day will be a little bit better than the day that came before.

As echoed in our first Dinner and Discussion, most of what happens at IHN nights is simply being present together. I alone cannot lift the burdens that these women carry. And yet during our shared meals, I am often reminded that through Christian love, there is some assurance that we can find, build, and strengthen our community together in order to provide an environment in which we and our children can thrive.

Katie Garman

Feb 2012